Sex

Friday night we were blessed with a few hours of alone time. That happens too infrequently for our loud sex sessions. So the moment the kids were out the door, I put on my leather collar so that Master could then put my leash on. It has been awhile since I've been on a leash so this was nice for me. I always know we will have super kinky sex when I have a leash! So Master put me in a chair and we discussed some of my wrong doings and what the punishment for those wrongdoings will be. Master placed nipple clamps on me while we were discussing these issues, and they did hurt, but they felt soooo good when they were removed. From there Master stood me up and had me bend over the bed to receive my spanking. For this spanking Master used the pleasure whip. Which does hurt but it felt good to know I was being punished properly. Master and I then took pleasure in different positions like 69, and fucking me from behind, or from the front. I then had to pee and was instructed to pee into my hands and rub it all over me, which Master did lick some off of me and we fucked like rabbits until Master came. Then we showered and innocently waited for the kids to return. As always it was too short, but we did use it to our advantage. Luckily, Master and I usually have sex everyday, so more sex stories to follow.

Trials of Training

This one is having an odd day. With a new work schedule, new people to work with, and being intense training this one is feeling a little out of "whack". this one is having a hard time communicating these feelings with Master, as this one is afraid of saying anything wrong. Master is a patient Master, but this believes that she can be frustrating to talk with because this one struggles with formulating words and when asked a question this one usually needs to think about it before speaking, as this one doesn't want to say the wrong thing, or convey the wrong the message. this one feels so little self assurance that even speaking is becoming difficult. this is having a hard time referring to itself in the third person and is feeling detached from not only Master but from its own self. this one knows this is part of training and understands that it is a good thing but this has a hard time putting it into words for Master to understand. this one only wants to please Master and to learn and become a good slave.

Could it be

So I have been given the task of looking at collars and letting my Master which kind I like. A very daunting task as there are so many out there and I like a few different kinds. I'm very exicited about being asked to look at them. I am hoping this means that I will receive a permanent collar. The significance of such a gift is not lost on me. I would be so very honored to wear my Master's gift of a permanent collar. I have a few temporary collars that I wear, even one that my Master made for me which I cherish, but a permanent collar would be the ultimate gift for me. If anyone has any suggestions as to great websites to visit for good collars, please let know.

Project 1

Here is a "sketch" of my first project for my Master. With his approval I have posted it. It is in rough draft form, and we have not been able to "play" this out yet.....but soon we will I hope....


OBJECTIVE:
I would like to be tethered and/or chained and be completely at your mercy for any all sexual pleasures.
I would wear my leather collar and have a chain attatched to it for you to lead my around by
I would be chained up during sex play and during times that we not engaged in sex play
My mouth would need to remain quiet unless you specifically tell me to speak
I would wait on you hand and foot and do everything you wished and anything and everything to bring you pleasure I could not cum unless you told me too
I would be a total nasty slut and beg for your cock and beg you to fuck me
I will lick you all over to heighten your nerve endings and bring you pleasure from the feeling of my tongue running all over your body
I would to be your most humble servant
SCENE:
I am a new slave at your “sex resort” and need to be taught my you, the Master how to conduct myself. I'm scared and turned on at the same time. Slightly shy, but willing to do anything even if seems a little strange to me. I do have a small defiant streak and you need to break me, so that I will become humble and subserviant.
There are many methods you have at your disposal to teach me, toys, whips, hands and of course how you speak.
I would be either dressed very slutty, or not at all, that is up the Master.

When Swines Fly

Our humble home has been struck by the dreaded H1N1 virus. We are all experiencing the dreaded virus at different times (luckily I'm done with it) which has been a good thing. We can all take care of the ill one. So with my illness, our fantasy writing had been post poned. The first fantasy I wrote for my Master has not been put to the test yet, but he did like it. Now the second fantasy is something we are working on together line by line and it is turing out to be quite interesting and a ton of fun. It is so much more fun working on it together. I will be finding out if I am able to share some of the writings here on my blog. It would be fun to share some of the experiences with all who read my humble blog. This of course will be completely up to my Master, and I being a good submissive will do as he pleases.

The Written Word

My given project is to think of a fantasy and write it out for my Master. I have done one today and will do another tomorrow. This is a fun project for me, but there are so many fantasies that it is hard to choose. And out of the two that I will write for my Master, he will choose whether we will act them out or not. I do feel vulnerable when writing out my fantasies because if they are rejected I feel I have failed my Master. But whether we use one of mine or one of his, I do know that we both reap the joy of the pleasures that we will experience together.
I continue to work on my submissivness and feel that I am making very little progress. Actually, I feel/think I'm making progress, but thankfully my Master is there to remind me of the things I have not accomplished yet. So I will continue to improve myself, so that my Master will look at me and know he made the right choice.

Fulfillment

A sexual fantasy fulfilled for my Master has brought me much joy. To be able to overcome some of my own "restraints" has left me with a feeling of euphoria. Sexual play brought to a new level is always satisfying but, to experience the pleasure of my Master's smile and satiated feelings is rather overpowering (in a good way). Acheiving "sub-space" while acomplishing this task is even better. Unfortunatly, my memories are a little foggy, as far as my feelings are concerned, because being sub-space is like being out of focus of reality. While I remember the physical pleasure and sensations, it is difficult to describe the mental and emotional sensations. But my feelings are not what is important here. The most beautiful thing was watching my Master fulfill a fantasy and pleasure that seemed to radiate of him. I can think of nothing more wonderful.

Again I have managed to forget one my rules, and I forgot to perform a specific duty that was given to me for today. I got so caught up trying to fulfil my projects for the day that I forgot two things. Not that I consider any rule or duty small, but I was assigned some fairly large projects to accomplish today and I became so focused on those that I forgot. The first one I corrected as soon as my Master reminded me, as it is one of my "everyday" rules, I did a swat for it, and the second one was an opportunity to perform a specific duty for today for my Master during our lunch together and my Master reminded me this evening. I have since apologized and presented myself for punishment, so hopefully, I will get the chance for another opportunity for that duty and I will please my Master. I have been able to mark things off my check list and that I think is pleasing to my Master. I still have a long to go to be a great submissive. I don't believe that I will ever be perfect, because there is always room for improvement. So to my Master, please understand that it isn't because I don't want to do something, I just need to stop getting so focused on one thing. Because I want to do everything I can for you, and perhaps someday I can be worthy of you.

Not So Smart Sometimes

Why am I always so slow to get a rule to stay in my head? You would think that a submissive would always, always, always obey every rule. It's not that I don't want to it, it just hasn't stuck in my head yet. But...why? Stupid, stupid, stupid. No other way around it, I can just be plain stupid. I get a spanking when I don't follow the rules, and it is something I want to do. So it's just that I'm stupid sometimes. Wouldn't a smart person put two and two together and obey all rules at all time, ESPECIALLY if it's something they like and take pride in? I honestly don't know how my Master puts up with me. Hopefully the spankings will put more brain cells in my head!

Love

The quiet beauty of love seeps thru each of us. I look at my Master and my love shines thru. The simple act of watching him sleep brings me such joy. The sweet tast of him when I kiss him goodbye in the morning warms my heart the whole day thru until I can come home and await his arrival for another sweet kiss. The simple act of a kiss from my Master fills my heart with love, because I love him so much. The touch of his fingers, or a look from him refills my heart yet again. He is my life and my life line. I miss him when we are apart, and yearn for his attention. It is love, and it is good love. I submit and he rules. That is love, and love is a quiet and beautiful, and should above all be cherished

Generosity

I have been granted a wonderful gift. Another chance. I have sucessfully managed to screw up pretty much everything in my life and therefore everything in my Master's life. However, my Master has granted me the wonderful gift of another chance. My short-fallings shall remain between me and my Master, but suffice it to say, I am not only unworthy of him, but have learned alot and will put forth the love and admirmation I have for him to prove myself to him. I find it incredibly amazing that this wonderful man has granted this once in a lifetime opportunity. Not only is he is wonderfully gracious but he also cares enough about me to explain the situation to me so I know the rules and understand all consequences. So, to my Master, I say a heart felt Thank You, and please know that I think you are the most generous of people and that I hold you in the most highest regard, and I promise to excel for you, and you alone.

Rocky Road

This past week has been a challenge for me. I have recently had a schedule change at work and so my entire daily regimine has been completly screwed up. This in turn has thrown everything off kilter, and therefore has resulted in numerous failures on my part, which has disappointed my Master. Oh how I hate to dissapoint! The spankings are easier to take (and there has more than usual) than the disappointment I see in his eyes and hear in his voice. I'm not using the schedule change as an excuse for my failures, in fact I have come to realize that there is no excuse. I am just having a problem adjusting to trying to do the same daily routine in a different time frame. I had the realization that I need to use my time better and not try to do everything the moment I come home (which I had the luxury of doing prior to a shift change), I can with little effort shift some of my daily routine to the early morning hours. So to my Master, my most sincere apologies for not having the forethought to change my schedule earlier!! I will adapt to new schedule and decrease your disappoint in me. As I should and always will strive to be the perfect submissive and will strive to give you less stress in our world.

In The Beginning

As you can see by the title of this post I am fairly new to this lifestyle. I have been with my Master for 19 years, however, the D lifestyle was only implemented into our lives about 8 weeks ago. I must confess that when my Master introduced it to me, I was nervous to say the least. That nervousness stemmed from my lack of knowledge on the subject of the dominant/submissive lifestyle. When the subject was brought up to me I ignorantly thought that I was being asked to consent to a mild form of physical abuse, and by that I mean spankings. Based on my past actions I could only think that my Master would have sufficient reason to beat my butt many times every day for the rest of my life. Now mind you, we have used a few butt slaps during sex and I've always enjoyed that, but to be spanked in punishment was a frightening concept for me. I had and still have this problem with feeling humiliated by being punished this way, but this is something I will continue to work on. Because in the big scheme of things, I have no right to be humiliated, I am my Master's property and am here for his pleasure, and I want to please him by any means possible because I love with all my heart. You see our story is very unusual and I will not share the details of what happened in our relationship, but trust me when I say that the only way to save our relationship was to enter into and agree with the d/s relationship. And I couldn't be happier! I have read many blogs and different opinions and have come to the conclusion that is proper that I be submissive to my Master, it is the natural order of things. We struggled alot when I was trying to have too much say in anything and everything. Now that all the options and decisions have been taken into his hands I can lead a life that is less stressful and the battle of wills between us has disappeared. I simply don't make alot of decisions, and if I have to make a decision I will consult with my Master first, and if that is not an option I always, always, always strive to make the decision that my Master would not have to punish me for. Since we are very new to this lifestyle I have made many mistakes, and my Master has done the right thing and punished me for them. So I will continue to learn from my mistakes and hopefully, with lots and lots of love and kindness I will become worthy of my Master. I will continue my blogs in hopes that I can learn and grow with my writings. I send my appreciation out to all of you that blog that I have been fortunate enough to read.....I wouldn't be here with such high hopes for my future, and a better knowledge of the lifestyle if you hadn't shared your stories with the rest of the world.