Sunday, September 27, 2009

Shortcomings aplenty

Bestow upon me the wisdom of a submissive. Please, anyone out there that can offer an opinion, point of view, or example of superb submissivness, I would be forever grateful! I have a mind full of ideas to prove and show my Master how much I love him. In fact I have so many, both large and small, that I can't seem to settle on which ones would be best. My mind just spins and spins with so many ideas that I get them all confused. I love my Master above all things, but I need to find a few specific things that will prove to him my complete and utter surrender. I have done some things, but still feel that I have failed him. Perhaps that is the way the of the submissive. My punishments for my shortcomings are always great reminders of all that I need to improve upon, but I feel as if something is still missing. Perhaps I will think upon that alone, maybe it is my shortcomings that are the problem.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Again I have managed to forget one my rules, and I forgot to perform a specific duty that was given to me for today. I got so caught up trying to fulfil my projects for the day that I forgot two things. Not that I consider any rule or duty small, but I was assigned some fairly large projects to accomplish today and I became so focused on those that I forgot. The first one I corrected as soon as my Master reminded me, as it is one of my "everyday" rules, I did a swat for it, and the second one was an opportunity to perform a specific duty for today for my Master during our lunch together and my Master reminded me this evening. I have since apologized and presented myself for punishment, so hopefully, I will get the chance for another opportunity for that duty and I will please my Master. I have been able to mark things off my check list and that I think is pleasing to my Master. I still have a long to go to be a great submissive. I don't believe that I will ever be perfect, because there is always room for improvement. So to my Master, please understand that it isn't because I don't want to do something, I just need to stop getting so focused on one thing. Because I want to do everything I can for you, and perhaps someday I can be worthy of you.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Not So Smart Sometimes

Why am I always so slow to get a rule to stay in my head? You would think that a submissive would always, always, always obey every rule. It's not that I don't want to it, it just hasn't stuck in my head yet. But...why? Stupid, stupid, stupid. No other way around it, I can just be plain stupid. I get a spanking when I don't follow the rules, and it is something I want to do. So it's just that I'm stupid sometimes. Wouldn't a smart person put two and two together and obey all rules at all time, ESPECIALLY if it's something they like and take pride in? I honestly don't know how my Master puts up with me. Hopefully the spankings will put more brain cells in my head!