Sex

Friday night we were blessed with a few hours of alone time. That happens too infrequently for our loud sex sessions. So the moment the kids were out the door, I put on my leather collar so that Master could then put my leash on. It has been awhile since I've been on a leash so this was nice for me. I always know we will have super kinky sex when I have a leash! So Master put me in a chair and we discussed some of my wrong doings and what the punishment for those wrongdoings will be. Master placed nipple clamps on me while we were discussing these issues, and they did hurt, but they felt soooo good when they were removed. From there Master stood me up and had me bend over the bed to receive my spanking. For this spanking Master used the pleasure whip. Which does hurt but it felt good to know I was being punished properly. Master and I then took pleasure in different positions like 69, and fucking me from behind, or from the front. I then had to pee and was instructed to pee into my hands and rub it all over me, which Master did lick some off of me and we fucked like rabbits until Master came. Then we showered and innocently waited for the kids to return. As always it was too short, but we did use it to our advantage. Luckily, Master and I usually have sex everyday, so more sex stories to follow.

Learning

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Sweet Release

The warm and tingling feeling is still caressing my butt. I have received punishment for some wrongdoings and while uncomfortable in a physical sense, mentally I feel better for my punishment. I know that my Master has punished me and now those wrongdoings are cleansed from me and I can move on without the guilt weighing me down. So now I turn my energies to my to do list and concentrate on how to make things well between us. I have turned over yet another new leaf and am taking my projects and my rules by the horns and tackling them with 100 percent of my energies 100 percent of the time. By doing this I will overcome my Master's concerns about me and finally be able to prove that this is the lifestyle I want. Please wish me luck.

When Swines Fly

Our humble home has been struck by the dreaded H1N1 virus. We are all experiencing the dreaded virus at different times (luckily I'm done with it) which has been a good thing. We can all take care of the ill one. So with my illness, our fantasy writing had been post poned. The first fantasy I wrote for my Master has not been put to the test yet, but he did like it. Now the second fantasy is something we are working on together line by line and it is turing out to be quite interesting and a ton of fun. It is so much more fun working on it together. I will be finding out if I am able to share some of the writings here on my blog. It would be fun to share some of the experiences with all who read my humble blog. This of course will be completely up to my Master, and I being a good submissive will do as he pleases.

The Written Word

My given project is to think of a fantasy and write it out for my Master. I have done one today and will do another tomorrow. This is a fun project for me, but there are so many fantasies that it is hard to choose. And out of the two that I will write for my Master, he will choose whether we will act them out or not. I do feel vulnerable when writing out my fantasies because if they are rejected I feel I have failed my Master. But whether we use one of mine or one of his, I do know that we both reap the joy of the pleasures that we will experience together.
I continue to work on my submissivness and feel that I am making very little progress. Actually, I feel/think I'm making progress, but thankfully my Master is there to remind me of the things I have not accomplished yet. So I will continue to improve myself, so that my Master will look at me and know he made the right choice.

Fulfillment

A sexual fantasy fulfilled for my Master has brought me much joy. To be able to overcome some of my own "restraints" has left me with a feeling of euphoria. Sexual play brought to a new level is always satisfying but, to experience the pleasure of my Master's smile and satiated feelings is rather overpowering (in a good way). Acheiving "sub-space" while acomplishing this task is even better. Unfortunatly, my memories are a little foggy, as far as my feelings are concerned, because being sub-space is like being out of focus of reality. While I remember the physical pleasure and sensations, it is difficult to describe the mental and emotional sensations. But my feelings are not what is important here. The most beautiful thing was watching my Master fulfill a fantasy and pleasure that seemed to radiate of him. I can think of nothing more wonderful.

Again I have managed to forget one my rules, and I forgot to perform a specific duty that was given to me for today. I got so caught up trying to fulfil my projects for the day that I forgot two things. Not that I consider any rule or duty small, but I was assigned some fairly large projects to accomplish today and I became so focused on those that I forgot. The first one I corrected as soon as my Master reminded me, as it is one of my "everyday" rules, I did a swat for it, and the second one was an opportunity to perform a specific duty for today for my Master during our lunch together and my Master reminded me this evening. I have since apologized and presented myself for punishment, so hopefully, I will get the chance for another opportunity for that duty and I will please my Master. I have been able to mark things off my check list and that I think is pleasing to my Master. I still have a long to go to be a great submissive. I don't believe that I will ever be perfect, because there is always room for improvement. So to my Master, please understand that it isn't because I don't want to do something, I just need to stop getting so focused on one thing. Because I want to do everything I can for you, and perhaps someday I can be worthy of you.

Not So Smart Sometimes

Why am I always so slow to get a rule to stay in my head? You would think that a submissive would always, always, always obey every rule. It's not that I don't want to it, it just hasn't stuck in my head yet. But...why? Stupid, stupid, stupid. No other way around it, I can just be plain stupid. I get a spanking when I don't follow the rules, and it is something I want to do. So it's just that I'm stupid sometimes. Wouldn't a smart person put two and two together and obey all rules at all time, ESPECIALLY if it's something they like and take pride in? I honestly don't know how my Master puts up with me. Hopefully the spankings will put more brain cells in my head!

In The Beginning

As you can see by the title of this post I am fairly new to this lifestyle. I have been with my Master for 19 years, however, the D lifestyle was only implemented into our lives about 8 weeks ago. I must confess that when my Master introduced it to me, I was nervous to say the least. That nervousness stemmed from my lack of knowledge on the subject of the dominant/submissive lifestyle. When the subject was brought up to me I ignorantly thought that I was being asked to consent to a mild form of physical abuse, and by that I mean spankings. Based on my past actions I could only think that my Master would have sufficient reason to beat my butt many times every day for the rest of my life. Now mind you, we have used a few butt slaps during sex and I've always enjoyed that, but to be spanked in punishment was a frightening concept for me. I had and still have this problem with feeling humiliated by being punished this way, but this is something I will continue to work on. Because in the big scheme of things, I have no right to be humiliated, I am my Master's property and am here for his pleasure, and I want to please him by any means possible because I love with all my heart. You see our story is very unusual and I will not share the details of what happened in our relationship, but trust me when I say that the only way to save our relationship was to enter into and agree with the d/s relationship. And I couldn't be happier! I have read many blogs and different opinions and have come to the conclusion that is proper that I be submissive to my Master, it is the natural order of things. We struggled alot when I was trying to have too much say in anything and everything. Now that all the options and decisions have been taken into his hands I can lead a life that is less stressful and the battle of wills between us has disappeared. I simply don't make alot of decisions, and if I have to make a decision I will consult with my Master first, and if that is not an option I always, always, always strive to make the decision that my Master would not have to punish me for. Since we are very new to this lifestyle I have made many mistakes, and my Master has done the right thing and punished me for them. So I will continue to learn from my mistakes and hopefully, with lots and lots of love and kindness I will become worthy of my Master. I will continue my blogs in hopes that I can learn and grow with my writings. I send my appreciation out to all of you that blog that I have been fortunate enough to read.....I wouldn't be here with such high hopes for my future, and a better knowledge of the lifestyle if you hadn't shared your stories with the rest of the world.