Mind Sex

As I am exploring my ability to think about sex all day, I find it can be difficult to walk around in a state of constant arousal. Don't get me wrong, I love it. It's just that since the kids are home for summer I find it hard to either concentrate on what they are doing are talking about, or if I concentrate on them to much my arousal diminishes. I am still trying to work out a happy balance. However, the rewards for keeping my mind on sex day in and day out are wonderful. It makes me feel happier in general, and of course the release when Master lets me cum is wonderful. I am trying to push my limits in my sexual thoughts, trying to picture some kinky stuff that I have had trouble with in the bedroom, so I can picture them in my mind, but when it comes to doing it in real life I can't. Hopefully I will overcome this particular problem so maybe Master will be happy with me.

Away

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, however when Master and I were away from each other for a few days during our recent trip, I felt lost without him. I'm certain my heart did grow fonder but I was sad without him. It was only two days, but still I missed him constantly. When we were back together I wanted to have sex with him, but we only had time for a quick blow job. Which is one of my favorite things! But I did miss the intimacy of the actual act of sex. Last night after driving home, an eight hour drive, I showered and put on make up did my hair and wore a new dress to please Master. We then went to our room and I was lucky enough to get to suck his cock before he pushed it into my pussy. It felt so good to have Master on top of me, I truly missed him, and I hope that someday I can prove to him just much I really do love him.

Kink Me Up

Looking for some help. It seems that I need to "spice" things up in the sex department. Master and I do lots of kinky things inthe bedroom, but those kinky ideas come from Master. Master would like me to expand my kinky mind and come up with some ideas. So, please if you have any ideas on how I can expand that area of my brain I would appreciate it! I have been doing some daily sex training both mentally and physically, but need some help with expanding the kinkiness. I promise to post any sexy details!

Sex

Friday night we were blessed with a few hours of alone time. That happens too infrequently for our loud sex sessions. So the moment the kids were out the door, I put on my leather collar so that Master could then put my leash on. It has been awhile since I've been on a leash so this was nice for me. I always know we will have super kinky sex when I have a leash! So Master put me in a chair and we discussed some of my wrong doings and what the punishment for those wrongdoings will be. Master placed nipple clamps on me while we were discussing these issues, and they did hurt, but they felt soooo good when they were removed. From there Master stood me up and had me bend over the bed to receive my spanking. For this spanking Master used the pleasure whip. Which does hurt but it felt good to know I was being punished properly. Master and I then took pleasure in different positions like 69, and fucking me from behind, or from the front. I then had to pee and was instructed to pee into my hands and rub it all over me, which Master did lick some off of me and we fucked like rabbits until Master came. Then we showered and innocently waited for the kids to return. As always it was too short, but we did use it to our advantage. Luckily, Master and I usually have sex everyday, so more sex stories to follow.

Past

Today we shed another layer of past. We got rid of my car. This is a good thing, above and beyond no further car payments, it was nice to get rid of something that stirs up bad memories. And this car had some bad memory baggage. Master has been very nice in acquiring another car for me, and look forward to having good memories attached to the new car. I really hope that by ridding ourselves of the old car will help in the repairations between us, because that constant reminder will no longer be there. I know there are still issues between us, and with hope still blooming in me I hope all will be well.

Lost and confused

This blog will have a different tone for awhile because Master and I are having to start things afresh. My incompetence has made Master's life miserable and I am going to be changing my personal behaviors and actions in an effort to be a good slave. I have realized things recently about myself that have caused Master confusion and I am undergoing a fundamental change in myself in order to be better. I am highly distressed due to my inability to make Master happy and now understand the changes within that need to be done. I saddens me that Master is unhappy with me, and only want to correct my wrongs to him. Wish me luck as I venture down this pathway.

Still Hearthurt

Communication is going better, or so I hope. I asked Master if our discussions over the last couple days is helping, and he did say that is helping somewhat. I know I have a long way to go, but I hold to hope that all will be well between us soon. I do get a better understanding of what Master is expecting of me, and so I hold to each insight in hopes of correcting the problems between us. I am frustrated with myself though. I only want Master to be happy, and I cannot be happy if Master is not. So with those concerns that little voice inside me still wonders if I will ever be good enough for Master. I miss him, and our closeness. I will continue to strive for the being slave for Master, so that perhaps someday he will be happy once again.