Sunday, February 28, 2010
Today this one is communicating with Master. this one needs to understand Master better and wants nothing more than to understand so that she can serve and please Him better. The biggest problem this one has with this is that this one is thinking too highly of herself, because this one thinks she knows Master very well. But this one doesnt, and so this one must find a better way to communicate with Master. this can feel Master moving further and further away from her, but at the same this one feels that she is communicating. But this one feels the same barrier between getting bigger and bigger no matter how this one communicates. this one just wants Him happy. this one wants Him very happy, and this one is failing.....again.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Today this one has contemplated her slave status and the ways in which she can improve. Master feels that this one is lazy when it comes to being a slave. This one has a hard time understanding this to some degree, but it doesnt matter what this one thinks. This knows that the only thing that matters is what Master thinks. So this one is determined to "kick it up a notch" to prove to Master that she is worthy of being a slave. This one will do some deep thinking and find her faults and fix them. She is determined! And she will do everything to make Master a happy Master
Thursday, February 25, 2010
This one has learned over the course of the last few days that she is still struggling at being a slave. Master has declared that this one is reverting to her old ways, and this makes her sad. This one doesn't see her errors as well as she should. This one was told that she would be going back to the former phase of training, and this made her very upset, as this one knows that she is failing Master yet again. Master did take pity on this one and declared that he would send this back to the former phase but will watch this one very carefully. Master, please know that this one feels for You when she fails you. This one hates to her Master, and wants only to please You. Thank You again for giving this another chance.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Master had me on the cross last night, and WOW, we had some fun. It had been awhile since I was put thru so many different forms of pain, and at times it was hard but all I can say is WOW. I was turned on, and Master was turned on, and we had really great sex. We were luck in that out all of children were at other people's houses for the night, so we were able to be kinky, and loud without fear of them hearing. I made quite a mess of things with my squirting and dripping, but that is not a bad thing. Today I'm a little sore, as there are some things on the cross we need to "soften" up a bit, but it's kinda cool because each little twinge of pain is a reminder of the wonderful time we had together!!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Master has removed this one from intense training which means this one is no longer required to ask permission for anything and everything. Master feels that this one has made enough progress and has shown enough improvement to remove those restriction. this one is happy to move into this phase of training, as this was feeling as if our relationship was becoming too formal and detached. this one loves Master so much that she missed the easy, comfortable feelings of just being able to talk or touch Master. this one still shows proper to Master, but does not need permission to speak, touch, or look at Master. So this is in a much happier place as looking Master in eye is so important this one, it is another form of worship to me, as his eyes are beautiful and hold such wisdom and light for this one. this one is feeling more at ease and comfortable with the new freedoms and feels stronger for the training she has received so far. this one looks forward to more training, so that she can become the best slave for her Master.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Today this one was chained with some slack to move around, as long as it was on all fours. Master was kind enough to let me have a bed on the floor and some water in a bowl while he was at work. This one had to wear a diaper while Master was away, something that this one does not like. This one was happy to do this for Master today, as He seemed pleased with this one and seemed to enjoy seeing this one tethered up. This one has been very humbled by this training exercise. This one is always happy to perform duties, tasks, or other exercises for her Master's benefit. This is still struggling with the feeling of detachment from her Master, and the lose of her ownself. This does embrace training but this one cannot wait to be out of this phase, as her emotions are starting to ebb and flow more and more through out the day. And this one does not want to disappoint Master any more.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
This one is having an odd day. With a new work schedule, new people to work with, and being intense training this one is feeling a little out of "whack". this one is having a hard time communicating these feelings with Master, as this one is afraid of saying anything wrong. Master is a patient Master, but this believes that she can be frustrating to talk with because this one struggles with formulating words and when asked a question this one usually needs to think about it before speaking, as this one doesn't want to say the wrong thing, or convey the wrong the message. this one feels so little self assurance that even speaking is becoming difficult. this is having a hard time referring to itself in the third person and is feeling detached from not only Master but from its own self. this one knows this is part of training and understands that it is a good thing but this has a hard time putting it into words for Master to understand. this one only wants to please Master and to learn and become a good slave.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
this one has not written in quite some time, because this one is under going rigorus slave training. this one has made quite a few mistakes during this intense training, but hopefully this one will be better from now on. this one is somewhat lonely in training, because this one feels detached from Master during this time, however, oddly enough sometimes this one feels closer. this is happy to do Master's bidding, as it is this one's most ferverent wish to make Master happy. this has been quite humbled during training, and is hopeful that the most extreme part of training will not last long. this one longs for acceptance from Master, but this one also knows that she must earn the acceptance first. this one will continue to post everyday with updates on the training, and the what types of training have been used or are being used.